friends + work = adulthood.

aku cucuk mata kau!

hey hey kau ingat kau korang leh cucuk? no no nooooo...

alamak tak jadi cucuk. laki aku mesej.

hahaha.. whatever.

aik, tadi akak-akak beriya je nak gocoh.

rindu kawan-kawan.

gurau kasar but that's our way.

HAPPY HOLS.

hello ipoh. hello mak abah. hello kertas SPM 1119.

mood kerja tiada henti sepanjang cuti. 

love. byebye.

sakit punggung?

watak-watak:

customer buasir 

waiter

customer butthurt

full story:

waiter : selamat datang ke gerai tuuuut. menu special hari ini : nasi ekonomi berkuah cili boh, telur mata kerbau dengan cili burung dan sambal belacan cili jalapeno. tapi untuk orang yang berani sahaja. kalau kecut perut jangan cubaaa. 

customer buasir : oh i loike... nasi ekonomi satu untuk saya dan awek saya. ermm. saya nak sambal belacan cili jalapeno satu. then kopi panas satu. air suam satu. thank you. 

waiter : wow, tuan pastinya orang yang berani. saya cuma offer tak sangka tuan mahukannya. tapi amaran saya sekali lagi. jika tuan tak tahan pedas, tuan tidak perlu mencuba hidangan ini. 

customer buasir : saya dah terdatang sini, awek saya yang cadangkan. manalah saya tahu. walaupun saya rasa gerai ini agak whatever tapi saya pun tak tahu kenapa saya datang ke sini. tak apa lah saya makan juga lah. 

tiba-tiba...

customer butthurt : hey you. you ingat you bagus sangat ke asik nak jual cili? sedar lah sikit ni gerai je and you tu waiter je. low class. pehal asik nak jual makanan yang pedas? tak pikir pasal orang buasir ke. jaga lah kesihatan bontot orang! takde otak ke nak pikir? satu lagi, you ingat you cantik, you ingat you bagus nak jual makanan pedas? hey you listen here. tak payah nak jual cili dengan tujuan nak menambah manusia yang menderita sakit buasir okay. you jaga diri you and gerai you sudah. tak payah nak tunjuk bagus just because you are selling sambal belacan jalapeno. this society doesn't need rubbish like this you idiot! no moral!

customer buasir : *dalam dilema. betul jugak yek.

waiter : then why bother to come here? berambus la! suka hati gerai aku lah nak jual apa. 

************

aww... butthurt butthhurt sekalian. jika meluat dengan kata-kata saya don't bother to read. saya memang suka perli sebab kalau cakap terus terang nanti kecederaan yang dialami para polan yang menjadi subjek tu akan bertambah buruk dari butthurt lalu saya akan didakwa, masuk penjara dan mungkin ke tali gantung? 

hahaha... whatever. get a life la butthurts. 

i just want to say "ade aku kisah" and you should say the same too if you hate what you read. thanks and babai!

*entry ni ada makna walaupun merepek. 

ASRAMA ku ASRAMA mu jua. up for it babeh?

i am working today. and i thought it was going to be a *pfft day but alhamdulillah everything turned out good. 

today we have to conduct an interview for F1 students who applied for SABDA. my pair was Mr. Moharni. i thought he was going to be scary, but it turned out to be he's the one yang softer and lovable compared to me. pelik. baik je dia cakap, while i was garang siap beliak-beliak mata lagi. poor them. (who got my room)

i started with asking "please introduce yourself." dua tiga orang asked me back "nak jawab dalam BM ke BI?", dua tiga orang terus answered back in BM. quite number yang paham soalan iaitu menjawab semula dalam BI dan seorang dari sekolah tuuuut jawab "tak paham." and i was like WHAT?? OMG mcm mana kau dapat 5 A, sayang?

next is "macam mana tau tentang SABDA?" and the answers were kind of cool - cikgu bagitau, internet, kawan-kawan. tapi ada satu yang paling menarik - sekolah ni paling bagus dalam daerah ni sebab tu saya tau. woooho. i was proud sekejap. tak sangka people NOTICE the victory of this school kan. 

next. "kenapa pilih SABDA bukan SEMESTI?" and the answers were a bit erkk... some answered - "sekolah ni nampak best" (urgh, do you know that you are judging the book by its cover, hunny?). ade yg jawab "kakak/abang saya kat sana so saya nak try kat sini" (try? this is not a trial and error kot!) and satu yang paling takleh blah - "because the qualification of SEMESTI is higher than this school." WHAT? maybe dia yakin yang dia SURELY will get into this school kot. ok ok whatever. lepas habis interview me and Mr. Moharni were giggling even though we felt a bit offended. whatever la macha...

other questions were problem solving. and i got ALL cliche answers. by the way nak buat macam mana kan? baru darjah 6. KBKK tak berapa berkembang sangat. i was looking for an extraordinary answers but seems my search tak dapat goal yg tepat. takpelah. 

sayang sekolah ni. korang tak sayang lantak korang la.

i don't know. i hope to see a face yang betul2 enthusiast nak enroll in SBP but they look sooo timid. macam tak yakin yang whatever happen here they must stay and survive in this school. i don't want to choose a bunch of people yang finally will opt out from this school just because they cannot handle conflict. tapi ntah la. ade yang tak minat pun. came because the parents asked to. oh come on. these kind of people won't survive here. 

i wonder what people expect before they made a decision to enter a school. semua orang akan jawab nak jadi cemerlang. tapi yang dok ada ni cukup cemerlang ke. and the way to cemerlang won't be easy. i wonder will they ever be strong to be the one yang still standing?

gambar hiasan semata mata

hidup di asrama penuh mahupun maktab rendah sains bukan mudah. not everyone is ready for that, no matter how good they are in academic. well, life won't linger around academic je. you need soft skills. kalau ade soft skills tu then only it will develop a strong mental and heart than you can be the survivor. and we teachers cannot teach soft skills to you. it is your experience and previous life that will give you that. it is how and what you have been brought up by your parents and surrounding. how could we teach you all that?

hm... you decide your life. nak jadi apa jadilah. but be appropriate. kalau kita pelajar sekolah, jadi pelajar sekolah. kalau kita ketua rumah then behave like a ketua rumah. yes, all of us ade jiwa remaja. but it is all beyond our control kan... embrace your teenage souls appropriately and nobody will stop you. somehow, you might think kenapa lah semua orang tak paham kehendak korang sekarang? kenapalah kalau korang je takde yang baik semua buruk. sebab perkara yang buruk tu berlaku and people cannot stop from judging and talking about it. kita ni manusia ade mulut dan akal mestilah kita nampak sesuatu, kita pikir tentang sesuatu itu dan kita akan bercakap. kalu baik, baik lah. kalau buruk, buruk lah. 

and my principle, if i didn't do anything bad, why should i bother if people are talking bad about me? yang selalu sakit hati tu is because we do, we do it sikit je but people see us as a big bandit. pastu tension je semedang. cuba kalau kita tak buat. who cares about you? hidup pun aman je.

contoh : si X budak junior syok kat abang A, budak senior. fine fine jiwa muda memang biasa mcm tu. but if X asik ulang alik depan kelas A dan perbuatan itu dilihat oleh kakak G yang secara kebetulannya juga meminati abaang yang sama, kakak G mesti akan rasa "pehal budak ni gedik sangat?" tiba-tiba si abang A plak syok kat adik X pastu couple, kakak G sure menyirap pastu balik dorm mesti kutuk X kat member-member dorm dia. jadi bergantanglah bad talking ni. pastu pulak si A dan X ni dah syok bercinta sampai sehari tak jumpe leh mati wooo! so dating la tepi toilet, kat library, belakang kantin dan segala tempat yang rasa-rasa mcm line clear, nak mengubati rinduu. lalu pulak cikgu Z, nampak plak pigeon two one jolly ni baik punye bercinta. cikgu Z ni macam indifferent tapi dalam hati dia paling paling tak pun akan cakap "tolonglah. cinta monyet yang menggelikan lagi murah."  fine fine. takpelah kantoi ngan cikgu sporting apede hal? lalu pulak cikgu D yang merupakan seorang warden. dan cikgu D menghadiahkan satu pelempang baik punyerr sekali ngan package maki hamun yang extra hot and spicy. menyirap je X dan A. maki dan sumpah seranah cikgu D, pastu bandingkan nape cikgu D lebih sudu dari kuah sedangkan cikgu Z cool je. menyampah lah cikgu D poyo! balik dorm si A dan X sambung kutuk cikgu D poyo dan melancarkan kempen anti cikgu D. kawan-kawan pun join lah sebab rasa cam poyo je cikgu D ni tak paham jiwa remaja and cikgu D ni berhati purbakala. berbakul-bakul dok kutuk cikgu D. dalam kelas dia belajar tak paham. nape lah cikgu D ajar tak paham? cikgu D ni tak  pandai mengajar. baik tido je dalam kelas dia. menyampah la, nak tukar kelas la. cikgu D plak dapat sense yang mengatakan bebudak nyampah ngan dia so dia pun bukak cerita kat kantin pasal budak-budak tido dalam kelas dan pasal budak-budak couple ni. cikgu lain pun menggeleng-geleng kepala dan seterusnya open table pasal budak-budak yang ada kena mengena dengan diaorang puulak seperti J, W dan S yang bawak handphone ke sekolah, biadap dan sebagainya. and the cycle goes on. sebab kita manusia kan. kalau kita batu kan senang.

ce bayangkan kalau tiada cerita ini. pasti ada cerita lain yang lebih baik kan? atau lebih buruk. tapi mungkin ke berlaku si sekolah sains dan maktab rendah sains? probability nya kurang la. 

cerita di atas cuma analogi. tak perlu terasa jika tiada kena mengena dengan anda. saya juga dari sekolah berasrama. cerita ini mungkin diadaptasi dari kisah di MRSM Kuala Berang. so who eat chili they will feel hot. babai!

you and us. students and teachers. *entry pedas, jika hati tisu jangan baca.

another entry bout my career. sorry.

today masa pergi makan ngan member, she told me that this teacher, "X"complaint about getting the same class for next year. this X said that the class ade satu 'badi' yang kurang baik lah gitu.. my friend told me that the students of this class daringly mintak nak tukar cikgu yang mengajar subjek tu, just sebab diaorang tak suka cara cikgu tu. i was like, WHAT??

ok fine. i wasn't a good teacher myself. i know ade je students hated me. banyak je yg jeered me from behind. but do i look like i care? hell no. but personally i think tindakan nak mintak tukar cikgu sebab cikgu tu tak best atau tak bagus tu memanglah terlampau KURANG AJAR. i wonder how they could survive life and jd someone successful in life kalau macam ni lah sikapnya. yelah. semua nak kena ikut kehendak and kepala engkau je. go and make jupiter your habitat, that's better.

tak ada cikgu yang perfect. so do you as students. bagus sangat ke korang? if you say that "I'm good because i got 5 A for UPSR and 8 A for PMR", i just want to say "boleh blah" sebab i pun got that kind of results dari dulu and at least i'm better since i'm a graduate. kalau aku tak bagus aku tak masuk universiti. tapi kauorang tu dijamin ke masuk U? pikir-pikirkan. bagus sangat ke korang kalau homework pun tak siap? bagus sangat ke korang kalau buku pun korang takleh hormat; buang macam korang buang pembalut candy? bagus sangat ke kalau dengan cikgu salam pun berat nak bagi? bagus sangat ke kalau arahan cikgu pun korang tak ikut? double pikir ok.

kalau korang cakap "cikgu polan polan tu tak bagus sebab dia ajar tak paham" i think you should ask yourself what is the initial of the problem. personally i have to say you yang BENAK sebab dalam 30 orang classmates you tu, semua gagal ke sebab cikgu tu ajar? kalau you yang tak paham, means you lah bermasalah. ya betul, tak semua students tu kurang pandai. but tak semua cikgu tu bodoh kalau dia ajar you and you tak paham.

i mark exam papers. i know how is the A standard for public examinations. to put it in a simpler way, i have to say this : walaupun kau dapat A, kadang-kadang taraf kau tak capai pun level A (most, not ALL of you la. sapa makan cili rasa pedas, ok). so takyah la songeh sangat kot because the teachers are trying to lift you up from that so-so level to good tapi you think it is a crap just because you hate the teacher's way. noob sangat! i saw teachers study their subjects before they enter class. cikgu yang menjerit-jerit dalam kelas even they can't hit high notes just to make sure semua students dengar apa dia ajar. cikgu yang jerit kuat-kuat so you tak tido dalam kelas, nak capture attention. cikgu bawak masuk lab, tengok movies and videos to make learning interesting. cikgu yang photocopy and still photocopy notes and worksheet for you even you buang-buang je semua tu. cikgu yang mark homework tu walaupun you tak buat homework dia bagi. woohooo... that's big. kalau tak percaya, belajar rajin-rajin nanti jadi cikgu and you'll know what i am bullshitting here. ooohhhh, tu pun if you can tolerate with small salary la. kalau rasa nak hidup mewah, abaikan apa i cakap tadi, shut up and accept who we are.

during that conversation i straight away spit my words to them : "i do believe that a teacher's responsibility is to TEACH and make those kids a successful human, NOT to make them love us. sebab kita manusia and we can't make everyone happy with ourselves. mutual respect is the key. but does REAL mutual respect existed? maaf cakap lah, tahap sivik paling rendah pun kau tak berapa ade, so why do you expect from others to treat you better? aku mengandung dan bawak 4 beg, naik turun tangga. ade anyone OFFER help? don't think so.  kena mintak tolong baru nak tolong. i wonder what if they ride on bus and see a pregnant stranger, sah-sah tak tolong, for sure. so how do you think i should treat you? kiss your ass and fake a sweet smile, give you mountains of compliments for things you don't have. i have to say aku tak kuasa." my friend dah cuak terus tukar topik. well, i have to say i'm a bit emo bout this because i know how it feels to strive sooooo damn hard for the kids and still we are blamed for things we done. so, fine. ok fine, that's life.

guess what. i am just recalling and restating what my mom used to tell me last year. thanks mak, you were damn right. 

tak guna bijak pandai kalau sampah pun cikgu kena remind kau untuk kutip. double noob!

one day, you'll be a successful person and i am no longer meaningful to you. kalau kau berjaya, this is ALL because YOU strive so hard. only YOU and yourself. so let's just do business here. i teach you learn. no hassle from you, we won't give you any. you love and treat us right, we'll love and treat you the same.

if you really feel like "aku nak tukar cikgu! cikgu ni tak best.", deep in our heart, we do wish the same. i wonder if you nak tukar cikgu, bagilah berapa cikgu pun selagi tak dapat puaskan hati semua orang tetap akan wujud this similar complain. so why not opt to the option you yang tukar sekolah. in fact you don't invest any cents to build this school. so why not? because we teachers are also looking forward to turn a new leaf with brand new faces of students who treat us well mutually somewhere but here. cuma peluang tu not easy as a piece of cake. but it is easy for you guys kot. yelah, rasa nak sekolah you all datang. rasa tak puas hati, ade problem you all blah je like that. keluar masuk sekolah sesuka hati bersama ibu bapa korang. and we have to add our workload nak buat surat amaran ponteng segala. yelah, things are easy for you. ade you all pikir how about us? don't think so. if you feel nak balik, you balik. never think of undang-undang skolah and others. tapi cikgu plak kena abide to your "whatever" rules : can't be boring. must be young and pretty always. must be sporting and understanding. never give homework. never give too many work. must not membebel a lot. have to know your stuff - justin bieber, cody simpson, greyson chance, twilight and bla bla bla. never rotan. never scream to you. never disgrace you. accept and tolerate whatever you do - couple, tido dalam kelas, asik pergi klinik sbb malas masuk kelas, nak rehat awal masuk lambat, datang lab terhegeh-hegeh. woo. banyak sangat la to be listed. 

is it fair? BULLSHIT! or what my husband called as bloody hell.

ok better stop now. nanti kena saman pulak. yelah, nowadays people were too enlightened about HAK ASASI. dulu takde binatang ni. sebab tu aku dapat jadi cikgu, lala dapat jadi doktor. 

tak perlu terasa jika entri ini tiada kena mengena dengan anda. babai!

heartfelt like.

lately, ntah kenapa i do feel really weird. really weird. i just couldn't understand my own feelings. hati ni nak kata tenteram tak jugak. nak kata libang-libu pun tak. ntah. i just couldn't explain.

today result eg tukar keluar. a few friends got transferred. obviously aku memang tak dapat. since this year a few things turned to be unexpected. i didn't get the approval and when i got the on-the-dot transfer offer to kisas, i had to reject it. too bad for me, but come and think of it, my status quo suits me better if i'm here.

lynda is going to be transferred to pahang. sharin pun. ustaz wan najib, fairos, nadrah. gosh. how i wish i'm on the list. when i know lynda is going, i feel very kinky. it is mainly the feeling of happiness, because i know she deserves it. first time i feel this kind of feeling. kongsi kegembiraan kawan. kinky sangat. because i used to be soooo indifferent all these while. lantak lah. but this time, i do feel "yeah, this is the best."

i really wish next year, i will be on their place. 

but before my time come, i had to endure years of pain i'm having all these years. complaints and trials and all the sorrow dealing with people who sometimes could be so heartless and brainless. handling rude and irrelevant attitudes. urgh. i wonder if i could be strong for this again. with baby to come. maybe. or maybe not. 

hubby tried to patch up my heart by telling me about kursus periuk api in new zealand. he said he MIGHT be going and he wants me to come along. but for sure harapan tidak boleh diletakkan atas kata-kata seorang tentera laut. anything can happen, anything can change within seconds. tapi kalau betul i will be more than over the rainbow! i need a break from this agonising routine and place. oh God i really need it. please...

oh TGIF tomorrow. can't wait for another break. but bacaan yaasin for SPM candidates? urgh... can i escape? hahaha. 

i'm bored and my tummy is pounding from inside. gi tido lah mummy. you're writing junks here. booooo. bye!

coretan of a sad wife

This raya brings me to a clearer version of appreciation. How pathetic when you were trying so hard to please hubby with a bulgy stomach then hubby doesn't enjoy all the efforts.

sad. That's what i truly feels. While at the same time i wish my family was here because they appreciate everything that i cook. hub only enjoy eveything that his mom cooks. i know deep in his heart he wants me to cook like his mama. but i can't be that lady.

Hub dislike my signature dish - the nasi ayam that my family loves so much. simply because his mama never cook that. when kak ina brought nasi dagang when she visited me, i can see how passion he was when he had that dish. and that nasi ayam was there. waiting to be rotten. same goes to brownies. i know my brownies broke like volcano. But still it taste good. but i know there's never brownies for their hari raya. useless kan berjaga till 4am to cook and bake but no one appreciate your efforts.

so my raya was spent sleeping while sobbing. simply because i miss my family members. and i feel sad that my new family didn't appreciate what i did to please them. I should be sincere but at times i need reinforcement. mcm dlm education. bila budak perform, kita kena puji and reward them. but ntah la. i need more time to learn more about life obviously. and obviously i can't be like the mom of my hub. i can only take her responsibility. and let me handle my the responsibility my way.

or else guy, marry a girl of your mom's choice. or fine someone who is good in copycatting. sorry i am not good in that.

be happy mummy. baby loves you.

my side of F.R.I.E.N.D.S

personally i just don't feel like bitching anybody now. but this time i just tak tahan lagi dah dengan attitude these sort of people - who misunderstood people through their judgement.

well if you call yourself a good friend to a friend, you better be good. for me a true friend could really understand his/her friend's position. well we have our own life and we could never stop the world when our status quo is changing. a true friend face it. but a stranger will always take negative out of it. 

we will be called lupa kawan and kawan masa senang etc etc etc. but who are you to judge? if we still pray for our friends, can we be called a friend who betray his/her friend? i just couldn't get it. obviously dulu bila  Ecah my besties got her bf, i couldn't adapt. rasa macam nak cakap je kat dia "sampai hati kau lupakan aku..." but the truth is, she never forgets me. it is just she doesn't have time for me. as i got into working field and i got my own bf, i started to realise. we have our own life and sometimes we have to put friends aside for personal matters.

but susah la if people tak faham and terus judge someone as what i stated above just because we were not there with them 24/7. i find this quotation true : "As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends, and more important to have real ones". yeah. as people grow up, we started to build a real life. and in real life we only need friends who are real to us. because only real friends will understand what is happening in real life.   

get a life. and you will know what am i talking about now. well, it depends to the definition of life you have. and that is what makes us different. even though we tried so hard to stop the global warming and climate change, but the world is still changing day by day. so do human. as we move on from one phase of life to another. hope YOU understand this. 

bubye.