confession a workaholic in mood-swine (sengaja dieja begini.)

mood swine is worst than mood swing. google the meaning of swine. combined. memang oink oink!

I tried soo dang hard to be positive. BUT I SERIOUSLY CAN'T tonight.

I am full of negativity - anger, sadness, rage, hatred, yada yada yada. semua -VE!

I was having such a long, tiring day. started with being late to work. then a meeting of "I-don't-know-whatthahell" content. class class class. ended up eating lunch at 4.15pm. class some more. PBS editing, SMM bla bla bla. I don't even smile. and didn't even checked on my phone! well that was weird. 4 years of career I survived being alone with my earpiece and phone. today it was all about work. and I was so tired. knocked out, I went home with only 15% energy left.

I wish world would leave me alone with my jobs. just me and my jobs. because that was me when i was having so many things to handle. no talking. no gossiping, not even snacking, facebooking instagramming. just cursing, music and working.

all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy. but if you play while working, no time to finish work, liao! then have to bring home and had no time playing with family. that was duller! so no play when working. finish it or at least half of it and go home and relax. play and have fun.

because the fun of a job is when you accomplish something. if you play, you can't finish a thing! no fun.

i wish people know that i am kind of serious when i am working.

i wish.

sometimes i got frustrated when people don't. but i just CANNOT please everything and every people around me. because i just CANNOT. even Michael Jackson and John Lennon can't. so, why should i be frustrated? ok now i am happy because that is just a piece of shit i was worried about! forget it.

i am in such a worst mood swing. i wish doctors could give me mc for this "condition"

ok ntah hape2 membebelnye. nk tido ah. i just need more rest to look fab. at least i feel good about myself when the world is not.

night.

i am back on 2014

what an ages hiatus? almost a year.

honestly handbag was the reason I was away with my writings. I missed writing (and cursing), but most of the time the thoughts are going down into the toilet bowl.

I promised myself I would write again once I got my 2014 wishlists come true. but I guess, the interval was too long to handle. hehehe.

talking of wishlist. I have 3 of them (actually 4, but I will be fine if no. 4 is unachievable)

(1) iphone 5S
(2) Microsoft Surface
(3) conceiving by end of September. (oh no!)
*** (4) capturing sunset at Kuta Bali.

I got 1 down, 2 to go. but wishlist number 3 scared the hell out of me. I was trying to tell myself that it is okay to have the second child by now. but it is Kamal who pulled my spirit down. I don't really know how to put it in words, but seriously it is hard to handle his antic by now, worrying me on how will he become once he know he is going to share both of us with someone else.

forget it! lambat lagi

career life was getting better, despite too many changes in the system, I still survived in the same school, seeing the same faces, and handling the same attitudes and wiggeries. I started to feel stable in everything, but sometimes things don't really turn up the way I want.

I made a resolution that once I am writing again, I am going to be more positive no matter how angry I am. but I was wondering could that be real. come and think of it again, I perhaps can be positive once I channel the negative energy towards something else. so the thing that could help me channel the negativity is

 

I am so gonna buy one.

but jap. mana lagi best. treadmill ke handbag baru?