Bahasa Melayu vs Bahasa Inggeris. hmmmph!

can't sleep last night. and i hate it sebab pagi dah 0645am pun i masih tak bangun bangun padahal baju tak gosok lagi. tapi luckily masa punch ada lagi 3 minutes before the list will get red highlight.

so today i went to 5 AHM rasa lethargic sangat. dah la tak sempat nak photocopy sample essay tp takpelah. 5 AHM is one good class. masuk kelas je alamak.... mana semua marker pen yang baru i beli haritu? nape tinggal 1 je? sengal argh. hmmph hmmph hmmph... takpe takpe hidup mesti diteruskan.

my routine will always be - meja kena clear 1 benda apah pun takleh ade. tapi nape ntah today God must have some plan to play with my boiling point. tiba-tiba i nampak some girls somewhere at the corner and back of the class tengah buat maths. woi! hmmph hmmph hmmph... sabar cikgu sabar... so dari plan nak suh budak buat essay on their own i terus divert plan kepada main quiz sapa tak dapat jawab satu kelas kena denda haaa padan muka hangpa!

and mmg padan muka because some cannot answer my questions. even simple question pun tak dapat paham mmg menyirap je i rasa... so all peeps in the class kena berkerjasama to write a flawless descriptive essay on the whiteboard. dah la marker pen i ade satu je masak lah korang. ada yang tulis sebesar semut api *better than sebesar kutu khinzir. sambil diaorg dok berkerjasama cengkononnye tu i was observing. hmm. nothing change. i see the similar situation i used to see on the year 1999 by that time i was form 1 in MRSM PDRM Kulim. memang tak berubah. so i wonder camnelah nak berubah mentality and performances when it comes to English?

first. hanya orang yang terror BI je yang dok sebok bukak kamus cari perkataan and betulkan grammar kawan kawan diaorg. yang low scorer tu duduk and tengok je. do nothing. woi bajet pandai laa macha! last time when i was a teenager; boys used to hate me tapi bila masa BI i jadi limelight sebab i akan bukak kamus and tolong my friends buat essay or any exercise yang teacher Mard suruh buat... and yes i mmg tolong diaorg. that's the cycle of the world - yang ada keupayaan sepatutnya dimanipulasikan ke tahap maksima. tapi in reality those people are not manipulated well enough. but they keep on doing things that can make themselves better walaupun diaorg sebenarnya dah baik enough.

second. these malaysian second speaker terlalu terbawak-bawak ngan lenggok BM. well some might think that we should think in English therefore we can write good English. however kalau you are still incompetent; thinking in Malay and translate your idea to English is also acceptable. but make sure your sentence is correct so that people can understand your message. the problem with students yang jenis translate ni adalah diaorg mmg pikir dalam BM pastu compute dalam kepala otak diaorang ayat BM yang berpusing berbunga dan berkias kias kononnya nak buat ayat yang sedap la. but at last otak stuck sebab tak tau nak translate perkataan BM tu kepada English. if they know that bombastic word pun tak guna kalau buat direct translation sebab direct translation akan menyebabkan sentence itu jadi tak betul. tu lah masalah with this second language ni.

aisehman it seems to me that today supposed to be such a breezy free day. tapi nape semua orang cari aku ni? halp!

yahoo messenger's bullshit

i screwed up. i started to hate what i have done. and i think this is the moment to really put a stop to it. i am hurting myself and i might hurt some others too. 

my husband is now busy with his job escorting US navy officers along their trip here. for the first time ever we both tak message during the day and earlier part of evening. adoi sumpah i bosan sumpah i bosan. i need u hubby...

nak kurangkan bosan and cengkonon nak buat i lupa that my hubby is too busy not to ignore me; instead of fb-ing ngan blogging i was actually trying to console myself "please la shida tanda lah essay tu banyak lagi kot...."  but donno why la this hati is damn kering i buat bodoh je and terus online. *pfft. so i was thinking ape nak buat eh? fb dah bosan blogging pun dah so tetiba popped out ym. gile. dah almost a year i tak ym u ols. dulu ni lah medium nak in contact with those people yang jauh di mata dekat di hati dan sebagainya bla bla bla. ingat lagi masa duduk meru heights i have no internet connection then curi2 pakai line pakcik kamal umah sebelah semata2 nak chat ngan buat hati PADA MASA ITU. 

tapi pas buah hati dah busuk pastu pokok dah berbuah lain i stop ym-ing. mr hub pulak jenis sms-ing je smpai jari jariku sakit semua kerna bekerja sehari2 *singing to Aishah's song. tp ok lah tak sia sia la i tukar from maxis to celcom pakai prepaid balik mcm zaman sekolah pakai henfon gabak besar mcm walkie talkie. tak sia sia as i am now a proud wife with a getting-bigger-and-bigger tummy. 

but that's not the point. balik ke intro entry ni. ape yg i screwed up? i screwed up sbb i started chatting pastu tetiba boleh plak ter-reminisce kenangan dulu. ciiiiipannnnn-zee. bodoh bodoh bodoh. dislike dislike dislikeee what i've done. i really feel guilty for my husband. and my tummy started to feel painful. maybe anak i pun tak suka what i was doing that time. seriously shida you NEED TO STOP THIS BULL'S POOP. no more next time no moreeee! esok i taknak dah bukak yahoo and all i want to do is menanda kertas sampai gile. 

wish me luck. argh esok meeting pulak nyampah!

*ape entry ni? biol.

babai!

kucing. miaw...

f shit. f shit. f shit! seriously i takut nak tengok this video. yelah kang kenan ke apa pulak *voodoo je. ah.. so what? then suddenly keluar kat bulletin utama yang gov akan amik tindakan. yes padan muka! memang u deserve it la petknode.

erm yup langsung takde kena mengena ngan i i know. in fact ni bukan pet boarding yang jaga our boboy and kiki masa raya haritu. tapi still they mistreated cats. cipan betul.

bila tulis ni i teringat kisah that day when we were about to leave boboy and kiki kat nursery tu. stupid betul i gi nangis padahal mak tak nangis pun. but sumpah sedihnye tengok situation masa tu. they were so sad. to the saddest extend yang i tak pernah tengok. tak tahan bhai... dah la kiki tengah sarat. pastu my cats tak pernah kena kurung dalam sangkar yang quite sempit. then ade plak siamese cat yang tak berenti-henti melalak *geram betul kucing tu bukan sebab comel tapi bising!!

5 days kat nursery tu. nasib baik the nursery tu tak mistreated boboy and kiki sampai kurus kering cuma those babies busuk gile masa balik. adoi mak loya gak nyah...

wargh rindu pulak ngan si kucing-kucing itu. especially boboy si gemuk. best je bila abah panggil dia "... kabui kabui..." next week jom balik ipoh. hoyeah. selamat hari Malaysia - in advance. *tak sabo ni.

the kabui kabui masa kurus lagi. rinduuuuuu....

rest in peace Gegirl syg. we miss u much! :'(

beloggers dan veeloggers dan publisiti - my thoughts.

gosh loser gile blog ni. sorry peeps i rase nak tulis in malay pulak. been talking too much english with students and hubby today. i felt so Malay la till i asked my students to give meaning of words in malay je harini.

i have to admit i memang dah takde passion nak blogging hari2 mcm tahun2 lepas. ntah la nape. maybe because i am married with loads of works to do. (ceh pdhal hari2 lepak je depan tv) the truth is i have no more ideas kot. mcm dulu i was very free when it comes to speaking. nak komen or carut tu mmg a my cup of tea lah. besides perhaps i rasa my life takdelah interesting sangat. sapa nak baca pun. then lagi i kan PENJAWAT AWAM yang pernah dapat warning i have to bear in mind that i am a PENJAWAT AWAM. so ok lah terimalah seadanya. simpan jelah thoughts semua buat pekasam dalam otak dan hati.

previously i dok dengar kisah cik epal sorang blogger yg hot in the market. ape kes ntah yang i bleh bertembung ngan dia ni lupa lah. rasa mcm masa dok blogshop kot. ape kes ntah but sumpah i tak ingat. so i pun baca lah blog cik epal yg faymes (spelling org zaman sekarang. eww..) tu tapi ntah la. besides that she looks cute and got HUGE numbers of followers sampaikan artis pun baca blog dia; there's nothing interesting about it kot. *aiseh sorry. real me mmg camni. frank-ie. citer kisah dia and the world of blogging and cute hijabis and trends but maybe menarik pada mata org. her language is plain in my eyes. so takpelah dia famous pun because every people share different views about something kan. 

lupakan lupakan. my life evolved too much bout health and my pregnancy lately. so takde mood pun nak fb-ing. apa lagi nak blog. *double loser woot woot. sampailah satu hari ni i rasa a bit healthy then i pun dah back to my normal life of facebook; tetiba teringin nak pakai tudung lilit2 mcm dulu. rindu pulak. so i pun bukak youtube for some inspiration camne nak lilit. yelah otak baru pulih nak invent lilitan sendiri pun dah tak mampu. then i ternampak 1 vid ni. ape ntah nama dia." ... something something inspired by maria elena." who the heck pulak maria elena ni? dulu hana tajima pastu maria elena pulak. i pun googled her. oh how old school i am she was so famous online! kalau hana tajima famous with mysaa.com; this girl pulak jadi famous dengan peliks.blogspot. usha punya usha minah ni pun ade vlogging gak kat youtube. and nah! dia ni rupanya minah yang i tengok dulu. video dia pakai baju rolling stones pastu pakai nail polish. omai omai bimbo gile dia ni i pikir masa 1st time i tgk dia buat tutorial mcm mana nk pakai shawl. not because she's speaking english with that weird style tapi ntah la. seriously indescribable. attitude kot. cuma i salute la the vloggers cam dia ni. org confident je leh wat video camtu with that kind of presentation. so pas i tgk video tu i was like whatever~ malas amik port.

so then i pun baca lah blog dia peliks tu. kind of menarik gak. sbb even she sounds sooooo bimbo; the way she present her thoughts was kinda good gak. ntah la. menarik. very carefree takde control ayu sgt. reminds me of my previous blog yang dah demolished sebab i ni PENJAWAT AWAM *pfft! takpelah minah ni bukan PENJAWAT AWAM *thank God she might not have to lose her blog or else she might lost her job - like me.

but her bimboness tu dapat perhatian ramai gak. biasalah ade yg suka ada yg tak. mcm cikgushidadariparit  tu lah. ade yg humoured by her ade yg annoyed. same goes to maria elena ni. sometime i got annoyed gak *alamak tak baik. i'm pregnant kot! tapi as i said above i adore her for her confidence. gile lah. kalau takde guts mmg jangan mimpilah boleh buat camtu. kalau takde muka setebal kamus oxford and buku medic lala memang tak mampu kot. some people enjoyed her well but some treated her with harsh comments tak terkecuali yang menasihatkan. well taknaklah komen pape. komen korang thoughts korang korang punya hak. cuma i got amused la bila baca komen2 ni. macam macam.

kalau dulu i kawan ngan geng penari tradisional; geng pompuan cantik; geng geek; mat rock; punkers; atheist and free thinkers; golongan ayu; pelepak tegar; geng dakwah; macam-macam punya orang tapi sekarang i can see more variety la since these people like maria elena and cikgushida ni wujud. not just them; tapi orang yang sokong diaorang tak kurang jugak ngan orang yang against diaorang. doonia doonia...

aiseh aiseh sebab tak mandi idea tetiba hilang. maybe i should write more. dok blabber kat budak - practise writing. practise writing tapi aku tak buat. ntah hape hape. baby lapar ni. nak masak. babai.

i heart my family

what a day full of tears. i felt so alone. after kak Ila paid her visit with Umar, i cleaned my body and heated the food. there's a pot of vinegar soup made by mummy for me yesterday. and a pack of fried rice. how i wish mummy was here - she'll make sure there will be more than 2 dishes on the table, waiting for me. 

fried rice with mango juice. suddenly my tears fell down. i really miss my mom. i swear. i tried to finish all but i just can't. everything seems so tasteless. and my tears just can't stop falling down. i miss everybody in Ipoh. mummy, abah, Lala, Nani. everybody. 

i called mom, tried so hard to conceal my tears. but she knew i was sad. she tried to console me and shared with me all the fuss she was having there. she said i should be considering about my family members who needed her more at this moment. i do also talked to abah. but i can't hide my voice. i miss him too. but he was firm. he didn't say anything so i chose not to talk for long with him. 

i need a companion. non other than my guardian angels. i then called maktok and i just can lie no more. i burst like a baby but she was so soft. her words are full of message and i felt so good. it was quite a long talk, how i wish i could go back to Taiping and spent my first day of Ramadhan there. and talking to wan, just melt my heart. he was like abah, firm but his words comforted me so well. i hung up the phone, still sobbing but i was happy to talk to all those meaningful peeps in my life. 

and now, i am in front of mr. lappy crying while blogging.

it is weekend and how sweet a life will be if we could spend it with family. i got married but marriage doesn't promise a happy life all the time. but under the family's armpit, everything seems so good, so pleasing. when mummy cook for you, all food seems so good even though it is the simplest she could make. life is full when you can tease your siblings and made your dad scream. life is splendid when you have people around you nags and nags even rubbish. yeah, at first you'll get so annoyed, but when you're in my shoe, you'll NEED those blabber. 

be happy shida. for yourself, and for the baby. love you.

memori daun pisang

i know it is too late to show all these but who cares? hehe. just a few sneak peak of pictures from my wedding album.

  

the rings

 solemnisation's night

 with the sword bearer team

 outdoor session

 @Echo Park, Taman Botani, Ipoh

that's all. thank you. :)

... it was so long ago but i still got the blues for you...

oh dang! so long since my last update. loser gile.

i am now happily married to my hub. well, wedded life sometimes isn't as easy and happy as we used to think. i got to adapt to too many situation at a time that sometimes my brain and soul just couldn't take it. such as? adapting to in-law's family. who said it is a piece of cake? hell no kot. simply because they were different from mine. my family is small, their is big. then, mom in law can never be the same as my real mak. being a wife makes me miss her more each and every day.

at the 2nd month of our marriage, not just that i found that i am pregnant, but we were dumbfounded by the news that my hub will be transferred to Mindef in KL. and yet, i got to join the club of my neighbours and friends - married but separated. living alone wasn't as easy when i was too sick to take care of myself. yes, i am still now at the peak of my morning sickness. and it is a torture man! all i can do was to eat and sleep. that's all and urghh! stress kot.

we were now eagerly waiting for the month of september - the only chance to move out of this area and live together again. and i just couldn't wait for august - when my baby reaches 3rd month and my morning sickness will fade away. hooray.

that's all for today. just a piece of update with a hope i'll update more. bubbye!