i heart my family

what a day full of tears. i felt so alone. after kak Ila paid her visit with Umar, i cleaned my body and heated the food. there's a pot of vinegar soup made by mummy for me yesterday. and a pack of fried rice. how i wish mummy was here - she'll make sure there will be more than 2 dishes on the table, waiting for me. 

fried rice with mango juice. suddenly my tears fell down. i really miss my mom. i swear. i tried to finish all but i just can't. everything seems so tasteless. and my tears just can't stop falling down. i miss everybody in Ipoh. mummy, abah, Lala, Nani. everybody. 

i called mom, tried so hard to conceal my tears. but she knew i was sad. she tried to console me and shared with me all the fuss she was having there. she said i should be considering about my family members who needed her more at this moment. i do also talked to abah. but i can't hide my voice. i miss him too. but he was firm. he didn't say anything so i chose not to talk for long with him. 

i need a companion. non other than my guardian angels. i then called maktok and i just can lie no more. i burst like a baby but she was so soft. her words are full of message and i felt so good. it was quite a long talk, how i wish i could go back to Taiping and spent my first day of Ramadhan there. and talking to wan, just melt my heart. he was like abah, firm but his words comforted me so well. i hung up the phone, still sobbing but i was happy to talk to all those meaningful peeps in my life. 

and now, i am in front of mr. lappy crying while blogging.

it is weekend and how sweet a life will be if we could spend it with family. i got married but marriage doesn't promise a happy life all the time. but under the family's armpit, everything seems so good, so pleasing. when mummy cook for you, all food seems so good even though it is the simplest she could make. life is full when you can tease your siblings and made your dad scream. life is splendid when you have people around you nags and nags even rubbish. yeah, at first you'll get so annoyed, but when you're in my shoe, you'll NEED those blabber. 

be happy shida. for yourself, and for the baby. love you.