serves me right?

urgh.

what am i doing here? stuck at home while the others are at their real home. i miss mommy. :(

well. this is the result of me trying so damn hard to be poyo - with a claim that i want to have a peace of mind. oh yeah. so peace. students weren't here, no neighbours. aha. peace. a real one. pfft.

what happened last thursday was one of the worst ever. i never had that kind of breakdown. seems like body and brain went to separate ways. i hate every single faces i met even though they meant nothing to me. i still hate them for no reason. i hate the papers i was stapling. if only i can step and fart on the papers i would have done that. i estimated that work is going to finish by 4 but at 6.30 pm i am still a zombie at work; a crying zombie. yup i can't stop shedding tears that day. too many things have put me down on that thurs-doom.

mr. fiance was another contributing factor. if he was in front of me at that time i think he'll got a punch right on his face. yelah! i was too down when he pressed me with another oppressing news - "i'm going sailing from 1st may to 5th."
i just can't stop when F word eagerly wanted to come out of my mouth. not just that. i started cursing. the words varied from P to B to P again to B to whateverrr.

mommy said "you're simply too tired hun. go back and get some sleep." it worked. and when i woke up, i just don't feel like waking up. i still want to make love with my bed. while i was on it, my brain was on labour. yup, i came to a conclusion that i am going to withdraw from my relationship first. mommy texted "take one step at a time. i care and luv you."

so i am taking one step at a time. an my first step is - get as many rest as i could. so, my verdict is - don't go back. stay home and do something relaxing. facial, checked. cleaning house, checked. blogging, checked. facebook, checked. online shopping, checked. what else to do? shito.






urgh. i need help.