sincerity

“Some sincerity will serve well in the long run but total sincerity is often detrimental.”

i wonder how sincere i am in serving more than what i am paid for. only God knows how tired i am today. going to classes up and down. preparing papers for the panel's budget. module for extra classes. preparing for sahibba competition. gosh i was worst than a tedious robot.  


i wish i could follow couples of friends on their trip to hutan melintang. but i can't. i was too devoted to the sahibba competition, that i forgot i got extra class tonight. damn. i rushed to bagan datoh to photocopy the modules. my watch told me it was already 7pm and i haven't put my feet on my door step yet. damn again. bills! i haven't pay my bills yet. and my viva runs out of petrol. argh!


i really need a pa. i know my boss also didn't have any pa. who am i to have one? but who cares? i really need one. i'm tired. and when i'm weary my emotion tends to get overwhelm. and i hate it. i started to feel too many moronic feelings that i just can't take it. i look around me and see how my colleagues got time to cook, go here and there, play with their kids, do sports. and i? 730 pm, just got home with too many sebum blotting my face. grrr.  


where do sincerity comes with this sparking emotions? i don't know. at time i just feel like quitting and stay home, herding turtles and watering plants, watch maharaja lawak and sleep early. urgh. i wish i could but i can only wish. :'(


the question is : i am almost in the state of detrimental. but am i sincere enough?