27th February delivery

"the procedure of inserting IUCD, is it painful, doctor?"
"you have overcame the worst pain in life when you give birth to him"

that morning, i had pain at about 5.00am. it was not an ordinary pain. worse than what i've had few days before. i woke my hub up, at the end we ended up sleeping at the living room. at 6.30am, mom woke up and asked us to go to the hospital. i had my mom nasi lemak first, because i can feel that, it's the time.

when i first got to the hospital, the pain was on and keeps growing. the doc said the opening was just 3cm and i might be allowed to go back home. what the fuck? i'm so much in pain. came in the medical officer and she said they have to break my water. and at that time, do whatever i just couldn't care less!

i got to wait for an hour before i can get a suite at the labour room. and i got a place at about 10am. the opening was still 3cm and the pain? excruciating. i got an offer for epidural and i just couldn't resist. the procedure was done at 12pm, right after that the medicine to increase contraction was injected in.

thank God for epidural. i felt the pain but it was bearable. at 2pm the opening showed no increment and i started to freak out. but i can feel at that time the contraction was getting more since i have to increase the amount of epidural each half an hour.

to my greatest shock, when the doc checked, the opening has gone to 9cm at 4pm. that moment i know the time is approaching. gosh, but hell i'm ready for that! i was planning to eat some choc with hub at 445pm. but when the moment come, the nurse came in and asked me to push and i did. and she said "kepala baby dah nampak." oh shit.

i had to push. and 10 minutes later a baby popped out. i was still pushing when the nurse put the baby on my chest. and i cried. i can't stop. i don't know why. they asked me to breastfeed the baby that time and i can't! how could i when i don't know how.

stitching was a bit painful but after that i can laugh and make funny jokes with my sister. poor her she can't be with me when i was delivering. hub was by my side but at the moment when you're battling with life and death, you notice nobody but yourself.

27th feb was an unforgettable day. the day i had my first baby and the night i fainted in the toilet.
i love you Kamal Ashraf.

tiny Kamal.